So the pun in the name of this blog hasn’t been at all appropriate lately—a weekly schedule just isn’t happening, apparently.
However, the lights haven’t been completely out here at Lyrics, Weakly headquarters. There have been a couple songs waiting on the back burner, waiting merely for the moment that a bit of spare time would appear, would appear to save them from the limbo that they were stuck in.
Or something like that.
Well, spare time hasn’t arrived, but nearly six months ago one of my daughters requested that i write a Lyrics, Weakly post on the lyrics to the Ke$ha song “Take It Off”. Yes, a child of mine recognized the utter horror that is that song, for which i would simply like to say, along with the nation, thank heaven for little girls.
Incidentally, you really should click on the link up there that takes you to the video of the song—it’s really a nicely shot cautionary tale about the dangers of providing a bunch of poorly dressed dancers unlimited access to paint pigments.
Oh. And meth. Lots of meth.
Anyway. This song has blessedly receded from the airwaves, but a few months ago you couldn’t avoid it—i think i heard it on the local classical station at one point. But, just for old times sake, let’s deal with it once more.
There’s a place downtown
Where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free for all
Now, i’ll let it be known that i’m all about giving credit where credit is due—so let’s give Ms Ke$ha credit for coming up with an interesting opening. The first time i heard this song, i found the use of a classic children’s dirty song coupled with AutoTune shifted into overdrive intriguing, and i wanted to hear what followed.
(What followed, of course, was that i shouldn’t have bothered. But so it goes.)
Fun fact! According to Wikipedia (so you know it must be true), the children’s song referenced here has several titles, including “The Streets of Cairo”, “The Poor Little Country Maid, “The Girls in France”, and “The Southern Part of France”. Ms Ke$ha, hats off to you for presenting us with such an endearing allusion to our shared childhoods.
Pity you didn’t stop there.
When the dark of the night comes around
That’s the time that the animal comes alive
Looking for something wild
Wow. I have to say, that’s a reference i didn’t see coming.
(See also “Wolf, Hungry Like the”.)
And now we lookin’ like pimps in my gold Trans Am
Ms Ke$ha, to be quite honest, it doesn’t take a gold Trans Am to make you look like a prostitute.
Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag
You know, i think it might be time for an intervention.
Got my drunk text on I’ll regret it in the morn
No. You won’t regret drunk texting in the morning, ’cause you know you’ll just pretend it was all autocorrect’s fault.
Also, i would like to point out that this is actually Ms Ke$ha’s second time appearing on Lyrics, Weakly. The first was for “Tik Tok”, and i would like to remind both of my listeners that i noted at the time (about nine months ago) that what she was really going to regret was her morning regimen of brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels rather than a fluoride toothpaste.
And why do i mention this? Because mere days ago, xkcd made the same point.
This is significant, because Randall Munroe is a recognized Internet Genius—but if i posted an idea eight or nine months before he came up with it, then that means that i…
I’ll leave the obvious conclusion as an exercise for the reader.
But enough about me—i must selflessly turn my attention back to Ms Ke$ha, who is busy telling us
But tonight
I don’t give a
I don’t give a
I don’t give a
Oh, wild and crazy performer that she is, she teases us with the hint that she’s going to say a naughty word, and then doesn’t—not once, not even twice, but three whole times. Oh, ho, ho, Ms. Ke$ha, i bow in the general direction of your most original and never-before-thought-of use of the language.
(Though upon typing that, i realize that i shouldn’t have been so sarcastic—at the very least, “oh, ho, ho” appears to be a completely accurate way to describe her.)
There’s a place downtown
Where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free for all
Yes, we’re aware—you told us so at the beginning of the song. I guess we should be happy for the reminder, what with alcohol’s effect on memory and all.
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
See, i’m puzzled.
I have to admit that i don’t frequent strip clubs—it’s not my personal kink. But from what i am led to understand, at the sort of club where strippers take their clothes off, everyone else is definitely not supposed to take theirs off—that would distract from the performer.
But i suppose that if you’re willing to pretend to be unconventional to the point of spelling your name with a dollar sign, such norms make no difference to you.
There’s a place I know if you're looking for a show
Where they go hardcore and there’s glitter on the floor
Ah! Hardcore, hmmm? So now i get it—it’s one of those places. Sorry to have misunderstood.
But glitter on the floor? Fine, i’ll take your word for it—you look at the floor, i’ll stay over here.
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
I still don’t understand why everybody has to disrobe, though.
Lose your mind lose it now
You’re a bit demanding, aren’t you, Ms Ke$ha?
Lose your clothes in the crowd
So what’s so unusual about crowds of naked people?
Oh, sorry, i forgot—you’re edgy, and therefore whatever you’re demanding we do must be wild and crazy and unprecedented. My mistake. Carry on.
We’re delirious tear it down ’til the sun comes back around
So now you want to tear the place down?
Weird. And what sort of a plan do you have to put that into effect, Ms Ke$ha?
N-now we’re getting so smashed knocking over trash cans
Eurbody breakin’ bottles it's a filthy hot mess
So let’s see if i understand.
You’re going to get drunk enough that you can’t pronounce the word “everybody”, and then knock over some trash cans.
Oooh, crazy. I’m sure that will just completely subvert the existing systems of power throughout the world. I don’t know if i can handle the sheer and utter enormity of this level of social nonconformity.
Seriously, Ms Ke$ha, just stop it. Please.
And I’m gonna get faded and I’m not the designated driver so
I don’t give a
I don’t give a
I don’t give a
You know, if i was the designated driver for Ms Ke$ha i’d worry that i’d end up with glitter and puke on the floor of my car. But maybe that’s just me.
There’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free for all
More repetition.
Speaking of repetition, as i mentioned earlier, this is the second time Ms Ke$ha has appeared on this blog—though, since i covered Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” a while back, some would argue this makes three times.
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
I have decided that there is nothing more unsexy than Ms Ke$ha singing these lines.
Okay, so maybe there is. But not by all that much.
There’s a place I know if you’re looking for a show
Where they go hardcore and there’s glitter on the floor
I’m having this weird feeling of déjà vu, almost like i’ve heard these lines before, and recently.
Oh, wait—that’s because i did!
C’mon, Ms Ke$ha—if you’ve run out of ideas, just stop. it’s not like you’re going to make more money off of a nearly-four-minute song than a barely-three-minute one. And besides, then we wouldn’t have to listen to you push the AutoTune into ludicrous speed for quite as long, so we’d all win.
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
You know what? I don’t care any more.
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, wow! Something big and different must be coming up! Let’s see what it is.
EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!
Never mind.
Oh, Oh, Oh!
EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!
And again. In case we’d blacked out the first time.
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Oooh
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
Right now! TAKE IT OFF!
EVERYBODY TAKE IT OFF!
You seem a bit urgent about this, Ms Ke$ha. I wonder why that might be.
There’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free for all
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
Yep. More pointless repetition.
There’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free for all
And they turn me on when they take it off when they take it off
Everybody take it off
I just counted. There were twenty-six—yes, twenty-six!—repetitions of the phrase “take it off”. This is a three minute and forty-three second song, which means that she said that more than once every ten seconds. Come on, Ms Ke$ha—just knock it off.
Springerle
14 years ago